More contemplation

So, for the last 3-4 days I have been sick. I even called in yesterday, Thursday, which, if you were to ask anyone who knows me, hasn't happened in probably 3 years. This has, consequently, given me even more time to think about the upcoming changes in my life and as my mother put it, "moving out of my comfort zone." This has brought me to the same realization in a few different ways; I either have to go see the counselor and commit myself to finishing my previous course of study, Business Administration, since it would be the quickest to completion, or see if there is another field that intrigues and inspires me that I would enjoy infinitely more. This is not to say that I would hate finishing as a business major, but at the same time I have also thought about what it would be like to be something else like a teacher(Mom,) or a web-designer, or even an architect or civil engineer. I guess it will take some more thought and some serious pro-con consideration.

One thing that I see as one of my weak points is that I have never been that goal-oriented, which is why I was always the kid in class that was being reprimanded for goofing-off, or that when it came time for Parent/Teacher night, the teacher would usually say something along the lines of, "Cody is a good kid, but I don't feel that he is living up to his potential." Now, I realize that my teachers were trying to be helpful and encourage me by letting my parents and myself know that I contained talents and abilities that exceeded the amount of effort that I was putting out, but it is still hard to be a developing child and hear numerous people say this, and only have minimal effort expended back in my direction to help me expand my scope. I don't want this to sound like I am pinning my lack of foresight and goal-based planning solely on past teachers, because I except full responsibility for my shortcomings. In fact, I would like to take this break to properly thank each and every teacher that I had growing up, from Alan Rosenbloom, all the way up to Mr. Mitchell, Mrs. Nourse, Mrs. Skillman, the Fillos and even Mr. Van Wagner. They have helped shape who I am as a person and helped form the basis of my thought process. I am merely bringing this up because it has been brought to my attention that it is hard to get to where you want to be in life, if you have no idea where that place is.

Like I said before, I am going to try and talk to one of the school counselors next week to see what my options are and take the first step toward bettering my life. I know that this is what I need to,(bettering my life,) because my mom is a living example of what life is like before and after the educational process. Sure, she could have made progression toward some of her goals without school, and she also may have put herself behind in the beginning since she incurred some extra debt, but now she is much better off and I feel that she is a much happier and much more fulfilled person as a result of her desire to return to school to expand her knowledge. I am not sure if I have told her this, or anyone else for that matter, but my mom is one of the biggest inspirations in my life, the struggles and the triumphs that she has endured, mostly for the sake of her children, are inspirational and amazing to me. I am thankful everyday that I had someone there that was so driven to her and our lives better, and someone resilient enough to continue to pursue her dreams despite any and every obstacle that stood in her way. She does and continues to make me proud everyday, and I hope that one day I can make her as proud of me.

That is probably enough for now, maybe more tomorrow. Peace to all my peeps.